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Farewell, Friends

“We’re like snow globes. We spend all of our time, energy, words, and money creating a flurry, trying not to know, making sure the snow doesn’t settle so we never have to face the fiery truth inside us – solid and unmoving.

The relationship is over. The wine is winning. The pills aren’t for back pain anymore. He’s never coming back. That book won’t write itself. The move is the only way. Quitting this job will save my life. It is abuse. You never grieved him. It’s been six months since we made love. Spending a lifetime hating her is no life at all.
We keep ourselves shaken up because there are dragons in our center.” – Glennon Doyle, Untamed
 
I came across this quote from Glennon Doyle (goodness, she’s magnificent) and I knew. I knew why I kept writing for so long and why I could stop now. I knew why, even when people would incredulously comment on the number of events I attended or how much I blogged, it didn’t phase me. I kept the sound on, volume turned all the way up on my life because it was a distraction from what was irrevocably there. It was easier to ignore than to acknowledge. It was easier not to be present, because presence equaled pain.
This writing didn’t start from there and that wasn’t the only motivator, to be sure. Over the last nearly ten years, I have loved sharing my life and my Cleveland with you. I have had amazing experiences that I treasure beyond any mere escapism that they also provided. I cherish the real and genuine connections.
When the pandemic hit, I was still living with my ex-husband, despite being separated for nearly 9 months. And the slam-on-the-brakes shutdown of any way to escape what was an untenable living situation sent me into a bit of a tailspin. I felt trapped.
But as my life changed and I began to breathe deeply again, I found myself less drawn to this forum. Less in need of the social media high. Craving fewer distractions and more genuine engagement with my life, my people, my work. I moved and I started a new job. I found happiness for myself and with someone else. The relentless pace I had kept up with blogging was not just unavailable, it was unnecessary.
This time, this year, has simplified life for all of us. It’s stripped it down. Given us the chance to decide what matters. What stays. I’m never going to be a total homebody. I’m never going to be an introvert. But I feel definitively, and have felt for awhile, that the blogger/influencer stage is done.
So, thank you, thank you, thank you for nearly a decade of more fun, more connection, more everything than I could have imagined. You guys made this worthwhile and made it last. And now it’s not you, it’s me.
On the practical side, this site will stay live for a bit. The Authentically CLE Facebook page will be deleted. My Instagram and Twitter bios will be updated to reflect me being, well, just me. If you choose to keep following there, expect kind of what you’ve seen there lately – a shift toward just the personal side of life. I think the name still works and, in fact, this feels like the most authentic I can possibly be.

About Jen

Jen

Jen is the voice behind Authentically CLE. Formerly of Why CLE, Authentically CLE is a project to share the stories and faces of Cleveland's businesses. Because the people make the city. 

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Featured Posts

Farewell, Friends

Pressing Pause

Looking Back, Looking Forward

Back to School

The Jeff(rey)s

Colon Cancer

Photo Shoots

A Divorce Allegory

I’ve Got That Summertime Sadness

Being Happy in 2020

How Authentically CLE Was Born

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