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A Divorce Allegory

This was the post I was never going to write. But sometimes there are things that you just need to say. Because I’ve found so much strength and solace in other people sharing their truth. And maybe sharing this can be that for someone else.

In some instances, divorce happens because of a cataclysmic event. It wasn’t that way for me. The best way I can explain it is with this allegory:

Last week, I brought a box of books from law school into my office. When I took the box out of my car, it felt completely manageable to carry. As I got toward my building, I was feeling less confident. As I walked, I kept bargaining with myself. One step further. You don’t need rest or help. You’ve got this.

And by the time I reached my office, I couldn’t have carried that box one step more. No one added books to it along the way. It was the same box I took out of my car. It was just fatigue. I couldn’t carry it any farther.

But really, the bigger thing I want to say in this post that I was never going to write is what happened when I set the box down and unpacked it, so to speak. It’s amazing how fatigue and frustration can take us away from ourselves. When we allow ourselves to stop carrying the thing we can’t carry anymore, suddenly there is room again to grow, change, feel joy, feel anything other than the weight of that too-heavy box.

Where my life has gone in the last eleven months is nothing short of revolutionary. A 180-degree turn back to this person I used to know and get to discover again.

DSC_4899
Photo Credit: Six Figs

I know my story isn’t everyone’s. And I offer this without judgment or blame. So much of what was in that too-heavy box was mine to unpack. And certainly “setting down the box” is an oversimplification of the process. But with all these necessary disclaimers in place, I hope this story resonates, clarifies, or just maybe lets me take that last book out of the box and set it on the shelf where it belongs.

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August 21, 2020 by Jen 6 Comments Filed Under: Jen's life

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Jen KC says

    August 21, 2020 at 9:15 am

    Am assuming you got rid of Civ Pro first. 😉

    Reply
    • Jen says

      August 21, 2020 at 9:20 am

      Haha! You know how I felt about that class 😉 Contracts may have been first…

      Reply
  2. Nan says

    August 21, 2020 at 9:20 am

    Love this, Jen! 🤗 it takes so much courage to set boxes down.

    Reply
    • Jen says

      August 21, 2020 at 9:21 am

      Thank you ❤️

      Reply
  3. John says

    August 21, 2020 at 2:37 pm

    We have all had baggage that we either choose to carry, or carry no more. When we let it go, more than just the weight of the baggage falls off. We have cleared weeds blocking views both beautiful and beneficial.
    When we keep carrying it, we never see the beautiful and beneficial, because of the weeds. Sometimes we weed whack em, and see them, but then forget over time – that’s why they always say, make sure you get the roots, so they don’t come back and block our views.

    Well said Jen, glad you have the courage to share, and I hope Jose new beauties stay with you always.

    Reply
  4. RWG says

    August 22, 2020 at 5:15 pm

    Things happen some good and some bad. Learn from the bad enjoy the good. You can always reinvent and reset and keep going!

    Reply

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Today on the blog (yes, I blogged!) #linkinprofile Today on the blog (yes, I blogged!) #linkinprofile...

This time, this year, has simplified life for all of us. It's stripped it down. Given us the chance to decide what matters. What stays. I'm never going to be a total homebody. I'm never going to be an introvert. But I feel definitively, and have felt for awhile, that the blogger/influencer stage is done.

So, thank you, thank you, thank you for nearly a decade of more fun, more connection, more everything than I could have imagined. You guys made this worthwhile and made it last. And now it's not you, it's me.

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Two months ago, I had never heard of neuroendocrin Two months ago, I had never heard of neuroendocrine cancer. Now I’m more familiar with it than I would ever want to be.

Known as the zebra of the cancer world because of it’s rarity and the unique way it manifests in each patient, it is often misdiagnosed initially.

As happened with my mother, 46% of those diagnosed with neuroendocrine cancer are at Stage IV and/or had metastases at the time of diagnosis.

@netcancerday seeks to raise awareness of symptoms both among patients and health care professionals to lead to earlier diagnosis and better treatment options.

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